Cebu City Christmas 2015: A Photo Blog Part 1

It's been a while, the second long hiatus for the year. Lol.

I promised to update photos for this season because the country which celebrates a loooong Christmas deserves to be highlighted and I'm hoping to make up for it.

But the photos I was supposed to take did not materialize, because: 1) I'm pressed for time, 2) due to some circumstances beyond my control, and 3) it's rainy season and some streets got flooded. 

Cebu City has an annual celebration every third Sunday of January in honor of Snr. Sto. Niño, the Sinulog Festival. So, the Christmas decorations in the city, lights and all, remain where they are until the end of January. The coming 2016 is extra special. The Catholic Church will hold the International Eucharistic Congress in the city. It will be very crowded with the influx of delegates for the congress, domestic and international tourists who will join the revelry, participants of the Grand Sinulog Parade, and devotees of the Patron Saint.

Why was I telling all that? Well, if you have the desire to come to Cebu City for the festival, you will still spot the scenes I have captured in my camera. But, you can probably do more justice with your camera than I did with mine.

So, here are some photos. More that I had neglected to capture, I'll do so after the holidays. Better late than sorry. Lol.


The picture says it all!

It's near the Crown Regency. Check this entry.

Every year, the same sponsor (a family of French descent that owns a jewelry shop, pawnshop, furniture and food company, etc.) puts up the Christmas tree. The design varies, though. Something to look forward to every year. The tree is set up inside the Fuente Osmeña Circle.

There is a lot going on here that my lens was not able to capture. A fountain with the flowing water. A variety show on the stage inside the circle. Food stalls. Lots of peeps just chillaxing and taking in the view and enjoying the cold weather.  Christmas lights hanging on trees. More lights on the iron fence of the circle.

The stretch of Osmeña Boulevard/Jones Avenue ('tis the old name, but people still use it).

The Cebu Provincial Capitol.

The stretch of Osmeña Boulevard/Jones Avenue ('tis the old name, but people still use it).

The Cebu Metropolitan Cathedral.

And the church I frequently go to, the oldest in the city. It has a beautiful interior with antique religious relics and chandeliers. At the moment, masses are held in the pilgrimage center. Although people are allowed to go inside, it is still not safe with the church's ongoing renovation after it was damaged by the 2013 killer earthquake (the one that also hit Bohol).

Basilica Minore del Sto. Niño.

Pasko is Christmas in English.

And, lastly. Two huge malls recently opened, SM City Seaside (which said to be the 4th largest in the world and I have yet to visit) and Robinson's Galleria Cebu, which part of the interior is shown below.

Musings Re Facebook Tint

This period has heard a call to be true to one's self. There is an outcry to SPEAK. We are encourage to speak our truth, to voice out our opinion, to push our ideologies. Thus, anywhere in the internet we can read anything and everything, from the most important to the very trivial. Maybe it's good because it allows us to tell our stories and be a part of something and aid change.

However, in that wake, we are in haste to belong. Maybe on some cases we resonate to the cause (whatever that may be) and, the idea in which it has been founded echoes our sentiment. That's good because we have companies to rally with. Strength in numbers, shared ethos and zealousness - the very same factors that usher the movement of extremists - are fundamental requirements that drive a revolution.

In this era where everything seems seamlessly connected and the line of true identity that separates one from the rest is blurred, how do we sift the revolutionists from the junkies who just choose to belong "just because". Should we identify ourselves to what's popular, what's trending, what's common...because, you know, status quo and oh, "I'm doing it because everybody's doing it!". Blah. I sometimes wonder which is more tragic, being well-informed or being blissfully ignorant, being highly sensitive or being indifferent. If there's no absolute truth, there is no such thing then as rightful indignation?

I would leave the musings as they are rather than explain in long narrative my stance on the (no) Facebook tinted profile picture (in my opinion it promoted divisiveness), which the musings alluded to. Restrain is acutely painful when you have a lot to say. But sometimes, being unobtrusive is more empowering than being very opinionated. 

For Paris, For Beirut, For Baghdad, For Humanity

For the cities that are covered in dark terror right now, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

For the families and friends of the innocent victims, I pray for peace and strength.

To the citizens of Iraq, Lebanon, France, the rest of the world who value peace and security are with you against terrorism.

I don't know what to say. How do you comfort the people who are suffering? Maybe for someone who can imagine the horror, being empathetic will quite do? So despicable of terrorists to feed on other people's fear and anguish. What makes it especially disturbing to me is that Christmas is coming and the families and friends of the innocent victims are going to spend the holiday mourning for the loved ones they lost. It is painful to lose someone you know is dying, but suddenly losing someone from a contemptible act  is beyond forgivable. I pray they will heal in time.

This world is hurting and more divided than ever. We are living with the hell we create. 

It's Already Chrismassy In The Pearl Of The Orient!

Officially, Christmas in the Philippines starts on September 1st, the beginning of the BER months. Every FM and AM station plays Christmas songs daily from September 1 until the New Year. Department stores display Christmas decorations along side costumes and spooky decors for Halloween as early as October. At this time, the streets are already teeming with carolers. Some street children get in the public vehicles (jeepneys, please see the image) to appeal on passengers' good hearts with their voices. Their set list includes both Christmas songs and current English and Filipino hits. The older carolers, on the other hand, visit houses and business establishments with their instruments. 

The Philippines, I think, is the only country in the world that celebrates a looooong Christmas, which, every Filipino living abroad always misses. So, I'll be posting updates as the season progresses because I just love Christmas! Who doesn't?

The giant Christmas tree in SM City Cebu.

SM Christmas Village of Hope

For the background story of SM Christmas Village of Hope, please follow these links: 

http://kythe.org/site/blog/2013/11/27/clayton-joji-tugonons-cebu-christmas-village-of-hope/

http://specials.sunstar.com.ph/communitynews/2015/11/05/sm-city-cebu-unveils-christmas-village/

And for detailed photographs of some of the miniature scenes, you can check here.

Books + look/feel of Christmas = my kind of a happy place.  Double happiness.

Inside my sister's university.

Maybe I Like Being Human

Maybe I like being a little broken, with some parts of me slowly mending, while other parts are waiting for their sunshine. Maybe I like picking up the pieces, finding the right parts to fit into the jagged ones. Maybe I like the fragments that sum me up. Maybe I like being flawed, disfigured, imperfect.

Maybe I like the discomforts. Maybe I like the insanity, the chaos, the uncertainty of existing. Maybe I am perverse. Maybe I am abnormal. Maybe I am anomalous. Maybe I like my own warped reason. Maybe I like being the odd. The strange. The inimitable. Maybe I like being simple. Maybe I like being complicated. Maybe I like going through the phases. Maybe I like the cycle of it.

Maybe I like the gloominess. Maybe I like groping in the dark. Maybe I like the breaking of dawn. Maybe I like braving the raging storm. Maybe I like controlling the broken wheel. Maybe I like the wrench in the gut. Maybe I like smoothing my knotted innards. Maybe I like the slowness of the process.

Maybe I like the struggles. Maybe I like pulling my messy hair. Maybe I like sinking my nails in the mud. Maybe I like crawling with my hands and knees on rocks, on hard floors, on walls. Maybe I like banging my head on the wall, or burying them in the sand. Maybe I like the battle. Maybe I like being scarred.

Maybe I like beating the odds. Maybe I like the power of bearing the inconvenience. Maybe I like the adrenaline high from jumping over the hurdles. Maybe I like the challenge of putting my puzzles together. Maybe I like the breakthroughs.

Maybe I like being stationary. Maybe I like pushing my limits. Maybe I like conventional. Maybe I like surprises. Maybe I like being in control. Maybe I like being stirred. Maybe I like docility. Maybe I like running wild free. Maybe I like being a sinner. Maybe I like living with a virtue.

Maybe I like being alone. Maybe I like walking in the crowd. Maybe I like to get what I see. Maybe I like the madness of second-guessing. Maybe I like monotony. Maybe I like the roller coaster ride. Maybe I like banalities. Maybe I like novelties.

Maybe I like being funny. Maybe I like the sarcasm. Maybe I like being silly. Maybe I like being proper. Maybe I like being emotional. Maybe I like being unfazed.

Maybe I like to tear me apart. Maybe I like the death of who I was. Maybe I like to mold me. Maybe I like to recreate me. Maybe I like the agony of my rebirth. Maybe I like the multiplicity in me. Maybe I like spreading myself. Maybe I like making me whole. Maybe I like boxing myself in. Maybe I like to let loose. Maybe I like being on the ground. Maybe I like to fly. Maybe I like being home. Maybe I like being out in the world.

Maybe I like being consistent. Maybe I like being a paradox. Maybe I like the black holes in my existence. Maybe I like the explosion of my inner universe. Maybe I like my own perfectly imperfect world. Maybe I like being human. Maybe, I like it excessively. 

The Universe Is In You, In Us

The big bang theory was based on the idea that at some point in time, a matter exploded to create the universe and it continues to expand. There is also the idea that like everything else observable that reaches its edge, the universe could suffer the same feat. The universe would collapse. Everything would just be vacuum back to where it began in one big whoosh, which the Physicists theorized as the big crunch. [OR – other possible scenarios according to moi- the gravity that holds everything together would be loose and everything becomes a chaos of bouncing matters, colliding against each other, or everything just stops there at that moment and drops to nothingness. ]

It was during this discussion that my Physics teacher brought up Retin-A, you know, the anti-aging treatment cream. He said the cream is only treating the outer skin, erasing or minimizing wrinkles. Constantly applying it also means a thickening of sagging skin tissues underneath. He was scared about the reverse effect, that the treatment would lose its effectivity and that all the wrinkly tissues would just resurface at once. I think he worried unnecessarily (though it was understandable). Matter ultimately ages no matter what we do.

But we try to suspend, prevent, and delay aging.  Thus, the Botox, face lifting, acupuncture and I am not sure what else is there in the market. Good for those who can afford it, bad for those who cannot. We put so much value on beauty, which leads me to…

I was reading Philosophy of Man (POM) few days ago. I was in the part where the author highlighted the contributions of the three Greek philosophers in history, Socrates, Plato and Aristotle. There were also some facts about their lives. One was unnecessary and totally off (considering the entire philosophical contents of POM [why the eff is there an auto link to something when I write t-h-e-b-o-o-k???] ) the #2 of this:

“Said to be an ugly woman”. Said to be…it was not even a hard-core fact. Tsk. Tsk.

No wonder a lot feels insecure even where they are beautiful. No wonder everyone is clamoring to be physically beautiful. No one wants to be immortalized in history as ugly.

You are what inside matters. You have the universe in you with all your mysteries and beauties. If they could not see that, they must be in their own black hole. 

There will always be different concepts of beauty. For a while, forget what you see, forget what you were told, forget about the concept of beauty. For a while, dwell on what Neil DeGrasse Tyson said:

"The universe is in us.

The very atoms of your body—the iron, calcium, phosphorus, carbon, nitrogen, oxygen—were initially forged in long-dead stars. This is why, when you stand outside under a moonless, country sky, you feel some ineffable tugging at your innards. We are star stuff."

Science is freakingmazing and I am always awestruck by the Creator of us. 

Considering the elements you are made of and the intangible building blocks (thoughts, dreams, ambition, character, wisdom, etc.) that make you who you are and the evolution you go through as a person, heck, you are very beautiful. Don't forget that.

Tricky Treat O' Lemony Sneak It

I am a HUGE fan of Claire Robinson and her 5-ingredient fix. She said this line: You can be your own chef. That, plus Julia Child’s encouragement: The only real stumbling block is fear of failure; in cooking you've got to have a "what-the-hell" attitude. As far as embarking on culinary adventure is concern, they echo my sentiment. Yes, they echo my sentiment and not the other way around. LOL.

If you had seen Any Given Sunday (one of my favorite movies, mainly because of Al Pacino’s punchy lines…tmi), the character of Dennis Quaid said this famous line to Willie Beamen: See it before you do it. That line seemed to have been integrated into my preparation before I dive into something for the first time. A conditioning of some kind. It seems very applicable when it comes to cooking, because you know, who wants to waste ingredients. That being said, I thought of making a sweet treat from combining lemon, lemon grass and coconut cream. The idea came from Dove’s body wash, the one with lemongrass and lemon scent. I love it so much that I thought of translating it into dessert. Lol. But I was not able to fully imagine the taste in my head, yet.

Nevertheless, minus the lemon grass, I cooked up a jellied dessert of lemon and coconut cream. I try to make it with five ingredients (call me a copycat, lol):

1 cup of Coconut Cream

1 cup of Evaporated Milk

½ cup Refined Sugar

1 pc of Lemon

1 ½ tbsp of yellow gelatin

¼ cup Evaporated Milk (to dissolve the gelatin)

1 tsp Lemon zest

Coconut is abundant in my country. But for the purpose of measurement and availability (in consideration of foreigners or another Filipino residing abroad who will fearlessly dare to try this) of Coconut Cream, I used the canned.

Whisk together the coconut cream and evaporated milk in a pan. Add sugar until dissolved. You can adjust the amount of sugar according to your preferred sweetness. Squeeze the juice of first half of the lemon. Taste and adjust to your preferred acidity. The acidity should balance the sweetness of the sugar. Add the lemon zest. Pour in the dissolved gelatin to the mixture and whisk to combine. When ready, put in the fire and slowly stir for about 5-10 minutes. Do not let it boil too much. The coconut cream reacts to heat and heat may tamper the properties of the cream, making the natural oil separates from it and changes the taste. When done, transfer to a molder or set it in glasses (like I did). Let it cool for few minutes before you put it in the refrigerator to chill.

This recipe is still in development. I have yet to incorporate the lemon grass, to try using cream (maybe the all purpose, because it is widely available in my country), to scrap out the gelatin and to use the fresh coconut cream. I will update when I can.

For now, it is called Coconut Lemon Gulaman. Hope you guys are having a Happy Halloween!!! J

STK Ta Bay! Paolito's Seafood House

My brother, two cousins and I, had dinner in another SuTuKil (Sugba-Tula-Kilaw) type of restaurant, STK ta Bay. It is in A. Climaco Street (former Orchid Street), Capitol Site, Cebu City. They have two buildings, one is next-door neighbor of Bucket Shrimp (read the blog entry here) and the other one is across the street.

We first went inside the newer building, but all the tables were taken, so we crossed the street to check if there were vacant tables in the other building. If there were none, we would have ended in Bucket Shrimp (which was originally the plan where to have dinner). Thank God, there was a vacant table for four! My concern was how long it would take the food to arrive, because I was so famished! We did not have to wait long. Good sigh.

I was sure my eyes popped out of their sockets when I noticed the decorations. All over the area, on shelves and walls, antiques were displayed neatly. I was like, “Oh my god, we had those and those and those…” mentally pointing at the objects I had seen in my childhood. Old transistor radios! Gas lamps! Manual sewing machine! Wooden wall clocks! Old telephones! I did some jumping jacks in my head and felt like a five year old taking them all in, like I was knowing them for the first time. Lol.

Rock, rock, 'round the clock!

My heart sang when I (finally) noticed that most of the furniture are made of wood. I hope I did not look like a fish with the mouth open. Lol. Boy, the old soul in me was so glad being in a room filled with woods and old articles.

Uh, she's doing what I was doing. Look, green telephone!

There were long rectangular tables that could seat 10-12 persons. From near us, was a circular table that seated six persons. Most of the tables are for four persons. They also have tables outside, if you want to dine al fresco.

1.) My shy cousin. 2.) One of the long tables. 3.) Window panels are made of wood and Capiz shells.

We had Grilled Tuna Panga (Grilled Tuna Jaw), Fish Tinola (Fish Soup), Kinilaw with Gata (Raw Fish Salad with Coconut Cream), Guso Salad (Eucheuma Seaweed Salad ) and 2 platters of plain rice (I learned later that their Bagoong Fried Rice was to die for…maybe next time).

Kinilaw with Gata

Grilled Tuna Panga

Guso Salad

Fish Soup. The one we had was loaded with alugbati leaves (Malabar spinach)

I have to say that the four-person table was a bit small for four persons. With 2 platters of rice, (understandable) huge plate of grilled fish, fish stew in a wider bowl (that took most of the space), two servings of fresh starters, 1.5 liter of Coke, glasses, saucers (for the sauce) and condiments, our table was packed! Another caution, you have to ask for table napkins because there was none on the table (maybe it was just our table... maybe an overlook [a slight one you can brush off] on their part... maybe it just happened at that time...).

We had a quick dinner because my brother was going to work and I was so hungry I kept on eating until I had my fill (don't judge me, lol), so I was not able to take pictures of our little feast. But it kinda looked like this:

Some plateful experience.

STK ta Bay has a wide selection in the menu list. It is open from 8 A.M.  to 10 P.M.

The interior decoration, I could not fully describe it with my words. You have to be there to appreciate it and it will be worth your time. I'm sure the diners, local and foreign (that had been there) would agree with me on this. If it happens you want to travel to Cebu City, this place should must be in your list. :)

The Curious Case Of Apolinario Mabini In The Modern Era

There was a post in someone’s Facebook that went viral in lieu of the showing of “Heneral Luna”. I found it amusing that an important figure in history, Apolinario Mabini (A.M.), was lost to the younger generation, which should not be, because his role in reshaping the Philippines was vital, even if he was on his wheelchair.

The girl asking her boyfriend why A.M. was on his chair all throughout the movie roused netizens to mock her, that she should have paid attention to her history class, stressing further the need for less internet time and selfie indulgence. They may seem separate arguments, the time spend online may not be the cause of her ignorance. However, the fact that a teenager asked it and considering there is an abundance of information, what then the youth has been doing with it. Obviously, there was negligence on her part and forgetting a Philippine hero is quite unforgivable and, every re-share compounds the crime (imagine that in thousands). How then are the younger generations behaving in this digital era?

On the other hand, the one who posted it on her wall could have not posted it, but that was her prerogative. In a sense, it brought something good. It became a point of discussion. It raised awareness on everyone the importance of history, individual responsibility and medium of communication. How everyone is going to take it from there however, remains to be seen.

There was an interesting point my friend raised when we discussed about the viral post. He said that maybe the girl knew about Apolinario Mabini, but her recollection of him as polio-victim hero on a wheelchair was not deeply rooted, because polio has been contained (thanks to medicine!) and there are not many victims around on wheelchairs she could associate with the disease. It could be the case.

Still…

Excuses do not make blunders right.

--------------------

This period in history, wherein almost all information is available in a stroke of a finger, we should feel lucky. Bless are the souls who revolutionized the digital universe. They make life easy! From the ways of tying shoes to the big bang of the universe, the internet provides million links in a matter of seconds and all one needs to do is choose which one of the links provides the closest information to what he or she is looking for. We do not even need to exert much effort.

Gone are the days when students have to make a queue in the library to make reservations on the assigned reading materials. They do not need to wait for hours or days of the availability (because someone else have it before them and forgot to return) of the reserved books.  They do not need to rush to the library after class to find answers to their assignments, nor do they need to stay for hours inside the library because the reference materials they are using are not to be taken out. They do not need to borrow books from classmates or friends, either.  All these considered, it is a good thing. Less time spend on research would mean a spare time for other (valuable) pursuits.

However, it promotes dependency. In the context of personal growth, it is not exactly commendable. It reduces the ability to be resourceful. If not lost, the ability to be analytical has also lessened.  Most are contented to accept information at face value and mistake it for a fact, without making further and deeper dig on the subject.  Why should they, if it is in the internet, it must be true, right?

With progress, have we become shallower individuals? We feed on gossips, showbiz news, and faster trends. We are indulgent: selfie, shoefie, bagfie, and etc-fies. Some correlate their worth with the likes they get. Some revolve their lives in social media. Does it fill what is missing in our lives? We can deny it if we must, but it has become the reality. And the youth is catching faster on it.

With too much information, I do not know though if this period has depth that could seduce the future minds, whether it has the same allure and enigma that draw us to the history of the past.

I hope so. 

Humanity, More Than Ever

War is everywhere. Innocent people are dying, caught in the crossfire of factions fighting to push their own truths (no matter how perverse the truths are). Millions of people are displaced - a Diaspora like no other - driven from their own home, seeking refuge in other countries, even where they are not welcome. It is easy to focus on the beauty this world can offer, but it is harder to ignore atrocities.

Few days ago, when I tuned in to CNN, there was a woman and a man lost in their grief. The woman was rocking herself back and forth while sitting on the pavement and crying without tears. The man was singing in lamentation with eyes close, held by another man. Both were parents. Both lost their children from the bombing in Ankara. It broke my heart in thousand of ways and, made me think of my parents and my future children.

The extent of evil one can do - in the name of religion, in defense of ideas, in pursuit of power, in claiming autonomy. It is unthinkable.

Do they ever reflect what is right from wrong? Were they even aware of the consequences of their actions? Desecrating their homeland by destroying thousand year-old architectures and beating and killing their people to instill fear, is a death of a culture.  Terrorism is selfish. It is cowardice.  It is bullshit.

To make it worse, some people commercially thrive on war and fatten their bank accounts.

Man is born with inherent goodness. When and where then the character got twisted.

In my opinion, only the weak yield to wickedness.

Mercury Retrograde, Are You Not Done Yet?

Mercury retrograde, it's the phenomenon of the year when the planet Mercury moves in opposite direction of the planet Earth. But, it's an optical illusion.

It is similar to the one you experience when you're in a car on the highway moving faster than a train alongside you. The train appears to be moving backward, but it's just moving more slowly than you are. The same thing happens when our planet passes Mercury in our orbit around the sun. Mercury is just moving slower than Earth, causing the illusion that it's moving in retrograde.

This year, 2015, Mercury is retrograde from...

January 21st to February 11th

May 19th to June 11th

September 17th to October 9th

With the dates of the retrograde mentioned above, I should be thankful that my birthday does not fall to any of the dates. Geez, I now get what's up with the Geminis and Virgos (signs ruled by Mercury). Oops. But, Cancer has its issues being a water sign and ruled by the moon, and we're also hard to figure out (they said)... So, go figure!

Apparently, according to Astrologists, Mercury seems to impact people in most ways than the other planets (which also retrograde):

It’s because Mercury rules communication, clear thinking, truth and travel, so when the planet goes retrograde — which means that it looks like it’s going backwards in the sky — all those things go backwards. They start to get ugly and tangle up.

However,

Even people who “don’t believe in astrology” often “believe” in the crazy aftershocks of Mercury retrograde!

That's a half-relief.

It seems that when the planet is in retrograde, we're caught up with our "shadows", the less appealing side of our being, but it's the best time for "introspection" and to be more attentive to details of the important matters (we're dealing with).

The retrograde cycle tends to reveal what is not working properly, and although it can contribute to delays and frustrations, it can also reveal issues that are important to resolve, fix or address.

It is actually a very good time to deal with what has been put on the back burner, or to finish what had already been started much earlier.

It is a good time for reflective and creative writing, inner work, journaling, spiritual work and completing long overdue tasks.

So, if you want to know the Mercury Retrograde is with messing your life and you want to survive it, you can cross-check with the following:

http://thoughtcatalog.com/jamie-varon/2014/10/17-signs-this-mercury-retrograde-is-really-fcking-with-you/

http://galadarling.com/article/how-to-survive-mercury-retrograde/

My system is under par these last few days. So maybe next year, I'll have a memory of these repeating: down immune system, zit breakout, over-thinking, sinful desire to cut my long tresses like that of Catherine Zeta-Jones in Chicago, or maybe, Josie Natori's (because with the right sass (lol), short hair can be seeexaay [lol]).  For the record, I'm telling the truth. Really.

Maybe, I should check the dates for next year's Mercury retrograde.

To get ready.

Yes, for real.

LOL.

Really, I'm serious.

LOL.


On a serious note, for more scientific explanation of the phenomenon, here's Wiki and more of Wiki.


Sources:
1. http://www.mnn.com/lifestyle/arts-culture/stories/what-does-mercury-retrograde-mean
2. http://galadarling.com/article/how-to-survive-mercury-retrograde/
3. http://www.astrologyhoroscopereadings.com/2013-mercury-retrograde-calendar.html
4. http://www.astrologyhoroscopereadings.com/2014-mercury-retrograde-calendar.html
5. http://starchild.gsfc.nasa.gov/docs/StarChild/questions/question46.html
6. http://astrology.about.com/od/advancedastrology/p/MercuryRetro.htm
7. http://www.lynnkoiner.com/astrology-articles/retrograde-planets-lecture-notes

Don't Forget To Breath. Literally.

When we're going through something - work-related, relationship, family, etc. - our mind is wired to wholly focus on the concern for the reason that we want it to be done and over with. Unfortunately, time can be excruciatingly slow when the solution is not immediately available or possible and the process of waiting is stressful. Although we can control our thoughts and divert our focus on other things, we still find ourselves going back to what is bothering us until we find solution/s to address our concern. It's inevitable that emotions are involved in the thought process. Our mind thinks, but our emotions are synchronized with our thoughts.

More often than not, we unconsciously hold our breath (if you haven't noticed before, maybe you would now). We may be breathing with our nose, but there's the suspension of breathing in our stomach. That, plus the feeling of being upset, or angry, or bitter, or disappointed, and other rational, but negative emotions -- and think that in increment for days-- the end-result could jeopardize our health. Chest congestion, back pain, tensed muscles, fever, asthma - do they ring a bell?

When you notice your stomach, that hollow part just a little (probably 2-3 inches) below  the sternum, getting harder, you're not having your desired rock-hard abs (lol). It's a sure-sign that you have to take stock what you have been thinking and where your thoughts are leading you. If you ignore it, you could suffer the consequences of the uncontrolled thoughts. Don't compound the stress by getting sick from unchecked thoughts and emotions. Medical bills are high, and please, don't speed the degeneration of your body. Life is beautiful, streeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch it for as long as you can.

Stop your thoughts. You know, MIND OVER MATTER. And take a deep breath, inhale with your nose and exhale with your mouth. Repeat the process until you notice that oxygen (as if you could notice the oxygen's movement, but you get my drift, hopefully...) is circulating freely in your brain and lungs (sorry, I don't know how to fully describe this clinically, but maybe my sisters [who are in med school] could...maybe I should have them as guests in my blog). It's not the solution to everything, but it's a start to think rationally again, this time with clearer head.

I found some great reads (no medical jargon, so the dullard like me is quite ecstatic) to fully understand the relationship of the mind and bodies. These may be of help:

https://www.brainpickings.org/2015/07/20/esther-sternberg-balance-within-stress-emotion/

https://www.brainpickings.org/2014/06/23/nothing-jo-marchant-heal-thyself/

http://familydoctor.org/familydoctor/en/prevention-wellness/emotional-wellbeing/mental-health/mind-body-connection-how-your-emotions-affect-your-health.html

Stay healthy! And positive! And alive! :)

We Are Designed To Heal

I have to admit I struggled between maintaining my privacy and reaching out to people. It's the same reason why I didn't, or rather stopped, posting pictures in my social media accounts and even minimized sharing quotes -- and realized I was and still fine with it -- because at some point, I felt I sounded too righteous. Knowing I was so flawed, struggling every now and then with my demons while keeping my balance, I felt guilty of being too "preachy". I lost the privilege of riding my high horse, so to speak, when I questioned everything I stood for. Even the simple act of sharing inspirational messages - thinking that by doing so would inspire someone and that someone would inspire another, and that one by one we could infuse more humanity in the chaotic world - lost its meaning.

I had no problem being open. My thought, joy, sarcasm, opinion, I shared them (and obviously, when it's a part of you, it never goes away, as evident by the posts here). But when one area of your life doesn't seem to fit with the other areas to make a whole you, everything you stood for and believed in seemed a... farce. That's what I felt, at least. So I stepped back - and was fine being a reader of my news feed and an amiable "Liker" of others' posts and photos - and scaled down my "sunshiny" personality. Can you imagine someone who's perpetually happy suddenly gotten dim? I felt like a sunflower in the desert, slowly wilting, day by day, under the intense heat of the sun, without the hope of being watered back to life anytime soon. I even had a soundtrack for it, Bright Eyes by Art Garfunkel. Lol.

That's what broken heart did to me, I just died. As Elite Daily stated, "Love Is A Motherf*cker". I suffered the pain of loss resulting from death but the pain of loss from someone breaking my heart, it's intense and magnified a thousand times (anyone who can relate, raise your arms). Maybe because I sincerely and faithfully put my trust in someone who assured me he would be there through the tough and happy times and suddenly, I found myself coping things alone. What's worst, it made me question if there was authenticity to every word he uttered and made me ask the most dreaded question: Did he even love me?

It's true that we go through  a lot of broken hearts in our lifetime and, most of them are our own making. To further stress the last part, I SOLELY feel responsible for all my broken hearts, because I made the choice to be a part of something, and in the case of a love affair gone wrong, I made the choice to make the person become a part of me. I know, I'm trying to be a captain of my ship, even if the ship wrecked me. Lol.

There are different levels of broken heart. Some we seem to recover easily in no time. But some just takes time and it changes us in so many ways like nothing else can. It changes our perspectives and the relationships we have with others. There's a definite taint in the issue of trust. We become selective of who should we let in in our lives. But the problem with it, we become closed off and we lost the chance to be a blessing to others.

But it's justified, right? The fear of being too vulnerable. The thought of people laughing at your misery. The loathing of being called stupid and affirming to the label. They weighed too much on the shoulders.

I shouted out loud before on so many occasions, "Yo, it's okay to wallow in misery", because somehow we all manage to find ourselves out of hell and end up okay. And that's what makes pain beautiful. Only, we won't see the beauty of it until it's over and we make it to the other side and evolve into someone better with higher level of consciousness, more mindful of ourselves and more empathetic about others.

Pain is a gift in a deformed box. We just have to have the grace to accept it and the patience to slowly peel off its wrapper before we can unravel, delight and be grateful of the beautiful content.

Maybe Strangers Are Not Meant To Be Just Strangers, After All

I like talking - whether I initiated it or by the other party - with strangers in random places (but then, even the place where you are [because you want to be there; planned] at the moment, essentially becomes random when you don't deliberately choose to be there as often as you should and the possibility of you being there in the first place is close to zero). There are strangers that are impressive merely because they stand out from the crowd for different reasons. It could be that they are dressed well, or not (again, perspective), or they are loud and you hear them very clearly even when you're lost in your own thoughts or breaking your eardrums with your music, or they do something noticeable (maybe by accident) while others are quiet, on a standstill or glued to their chair. But what sticks the most, is hearing a story from another stranger. Whether the story is compelling, amusing, hilarious, or life-changing, you don't fail to take note, because it resonates in ways relatable to you, or it becomes a pivotal point of reference (for your future, for whatever purpose it'll serve you) from thereon (e.g., as writing materials and more, in my case... I know, evil of me. So let's pinky swear you wouldn't sell me out?).

Maybe it's random, but maybe you're there at the right time. Maybe you're there, even without you realizing it, for that stranger - as a temporary respite, a break from what goes on in their lives (even if you don't know the details), a relief, etc. Or maybe, they're there for you, for reason you only know (if and when you give it a thought, there is something there, if you recognize the random connection). Since you don't know how your meeting affects the other (hopefully, in a positive light), you can only select the takeaways from your side of the fence. Even a brief tête-à-tête with a stranger has its purpose.

I see them in two ways - sealants that fill the cracks on my wall, and lights that find their way through the cracks. Either or both, they, sometimes, provide me reason when reason is too elusive for me to grasp.

Wow, the heavy random thought makes me en-lighten. How ironic is that? Okay, cornik. Lol.

So, I met a young mother of an ailing 5-yr old girl outside the MRI room in the hospital...

...and a loquacious François while waiting for my ride...

...and...

When Life Gave Me Lemon By Way Of A Failed OS

I mentioned my worry about the possibility of a disjointed laptop. No worries (yet), the appendages are still attached. I had more pressing problem than that. The OS just failed to work! Being a tenacious creature who does not easily give up, I basically spent the whole weekend – with a feeling that all my effort was futile, but still, I could not give up, just because – trying the system repair until it gave me a notice that it can’t, and it eventually shut down and I did the same process for the nth time. When I realized there was no other way to start my laptop working but to reformat and re-install the OS, I cried, unashamedly. Considering the circumstance, it’s understandable. Right?

I mean consider these:

      Millions of words written.

      Thousands of photographs.

      Five years of memories with families and friends.

      Countless stories of strangers yet to to be told.

ALL REDUCED TO 0. 

Who, in hell, would not cry over lost files?! Trust me, there are things that can break a heart besides a love affair gone wrong.

I thought about the efforts I put on my writings - the sleepless nights, the shameless thesaurus checking for the right words, the insecurity over grammar, the joy that came with the finished articles/essays. I grieved for the fortunate accidents that moments gave me to have beautiful pictures. All the crazy times that I waited for the right components to appear for those perfect shots…zilch. No more evidences. They now only exist in my head. 

I’m still reeling from my loss, but life has to go on. One has to begin again. This sounds like a lame attempt in marketing a lousy rom-com. Lol.

I had some help to re-install the OS. Some programs were replaced by another. And my keyboard is like a ghost manipulating the Ouija board, the cursor runs like crazy from one point to another , messing what I’m writing.  So my fear that “once a ‘puter/lappy is being tinkered, it’s never going to be the same” is right. And oh my Encarta is gone…so much for trying at being cultured.

I’m not whining. Considering I could not get back what I had lost (woot the cliché!), whining is pretty much useless. I’m trying my best-est at humor. Laugh, please.

You know, I have to say, even when you’re at your lowest - being desolate and hopeless – and your head is wrapped around on your moment’s concern, IF YOU’RE WILLING TO SEE, IF YOU’RE WILLING TO BE SURPRISED, you will always find something to lighten your mood, something akin to sunlight peeking through the cracks in the dark clouds. I basically meant humor. Or comedy. Or however you categorize it.

So, there I was,  mourning with heavy heart over my lost history while entertaining different thoughts over my future works (that would probably need my lost materials) and considering my options, two of my friends (who are in different parts of the country) sent me a private message (out of the blue!) if I’m married and if not, why.

                                      *___________________________*

                                                    The hell?!

But instead of losing head over it and be more upset, it cracked me up. BIG TIME. God (and I do believe He exists) has humor.  Like I already told before, as long as I’m single, it’s a question that will hound me. I found it amusing every time. And given that it’s amusing to me, and to be asked that amusing question while I was distraught, the timing was just perfect and not at the same time. That’s what  I found comical, the absurdity of the timing.

When you’re able to laugh through your misery, you know things will be fine.