Why Men Love Bitches

       

          The word BITCH has a negative connotation loosely applied-by men and women alike-to women with vicious behavior and demean others. Think of the classic example of bitches in Mean Girls. They're the bunches you love and hate at the same time. But most of the time, they're the kind you stay away from.

          But in Why Men Love Bitches-a book by Sherry Argov-bitch is defined to a different context. She's described with the highest regard. As how Sherry Argov put it, she's the dream girl. The bitch she's describing is, according to her words:

"The woman I'm describing is kind yet strong. She has strength that ever is so subtle. She doesn't give up her life, and she won't chase a man. She knows what she wants but she won't compromise herself to get it. She has the ability to remain cool under pressure."

          And I was just quoting lines from her introduction. I tell you once you read the book you won't be able to put it down. Not only that it's an interesting read, but it also makes you assess yourself as you read along and makes you question if you're being "too nice", if you're a doormat, or if you're the dream girl. Which category do you belong? I had many "Aha!" moments as I read it. What draws me to the book is that it resonates my philosophy of putting more value to one's self. Self-respect is very important. 

          I could go on and on because, obviously, I agree with her. Not only that it's a self-help book (by making a turn around from being a doormat to a dream girl), the book also talks about relationship. It's basically a guide book for a woman to hold her own in the relationship, derived from interviewing hundreds of men and women. Here are some of the matters she stretched in her book:

The most attractive quality of all is dignity

Truly powerful people don't explain why they want respect. They simply don't engage someone who doesn't give it to them. 

Be an independent thinker at all times, and ignore anyone who attempts to define you in a limiting way.

You can get away with saying much more with humor than you can with a straight face.

Once you start laughing, you start healing.

The ability to choose how you want to live, and the ability to choose how you want to be treated are the two things that give you more power than any material object ever will.

The relationship may not be right for you if you find yourself jumping through hoops. When something is right, it will feel easier and much more effortless.

Any time a woman competes with another woman, she demeans herself.

If the choice is between her dignity and having a relationship, the bitch will prioritize her dignity above all else.

Anything a person chases in life runs away. 

          They are just ten out of the hundred principles discussed in the book. Grab a copy now!   

To The Little Kid Who Adds Spice To Our Lives

       

          My nephew, Sean, came with my parents in the city for a "vacation". He lives in the province, in Liloan, Southern Leyte (if you want to check our town's hidden treasures, here's a link from another blogger who'd been there) with his mother-my sister-and my parents. He brought his own backpack and he looked like one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles when he came in the door. Lol. He also brought with him his purse with more than a P100 in it. As soon as he finished doing the "Amen" or "Mano Po" (a gesture used in Filipino culture as a sign of respect to elders), he diligently lifted mattresses, turned over pen holders, dug his hand inside school bags and opened cabinets to scour for coins to add to his savings. Lol.

          "What are you going to do with your money?" I asked.
          "I'm going to play at the mall!" he replied.

          Yes, we went to Bibo, the amusement center in SM City Cebu. But instead of using his savings to purchase the tickets and tokens they needed, we used the money our father gave us to spend. With that taken cared of, he decided he'd buy a toy with his money. So we agreed to go to Toy Kingdom before we go home. Along with my brother, Frances, the two boys had fun in Bibo. They rode thrice in the bump car, only because I was not able to take good pictures of him to post on his mother's Facebook timeline. Unfortunately, his videos and pictures were recorded in vain for my brother's phone was lost (or fell off from his short's pocket), perhaps, in the taxi. So, we only have memories of his fun etched in our hearts and mind. Later that day, as we recalled what happened to our parents, he said, "There will be next time." (He's already started saving for his next trip to Cebu, lol).

          That was so mature. But I should have expected he'd say something like that after the patience and intelligence he displayed at Toy Kingdom. As I mentioned above with him being diligent in looking for loose coins around the apartment, it reached P 200. He walked around the toy store constantly stopping before the toys he liked and asked us how much they cost and if he's money was enough to buy even one of them. That touched my very core and crushed my heart at the same time. I felt guilty for letting them loose in the amusement center. We could have saved some of the money to add to his purse. :(

          The toy he decided to buy was a mini roller he could push with his finger and it cost P 399.95. But he only got P 200, so he's P 200 short. Good thing though my sister joined us after her class. She and I pitched in to make it P 400. Clutching his toy, he went to the counter-accompanied by my brother-to pay for it.

          Growing up without a father and surrounded by adults, Sean matured too early for his age. He thinks for himself. He chooses what clothes to wear. He knows which shirts are for going out, which ones are for daily wear and which ones are for sleeping. You can't force him to wear after bath clothes as sleeping clothes and vice versa. He folds his own clothes, rolls his underwears and socks and stack them in the right file. He chooses which shoes to wear to school as well, and asks to wear slippers when it's raining. He tells everyone in the house what he'll have for breakfast and knows when to compromise if his favorite food is out of stock. He insists on eating only scrambled egg, not the sunny side up or how else we want it to be cooked. He looks at the wall clock and points out the time he'll be finished eating, when he'll brush his teeth and what time he'll leave for school. And for his age, he already makes smart comments to our amusement. But he also knows when his words become too  much for his own good. Lol. He's a "runner", buying stuff we need from the sari-sari store and I don't remember him refusing to do so even once, even when the sun is scorching or it's raining-he wears a cap or bring umbrella, whichever applies.

          With an independent mind, sometimes it becomes a battle of wills-him vs. his mom, or him vs. my mother, and so on-whoever is in a clash with him at a given moment. There were instances he knew he lost but he did not concede defeat and continued fighting. Lol. It was fun to watch, and kinda amusing (although it's hard to maintain a poker face throughout the battle). The kid has pride and he does not break down easily. As an eight year old, he is displaying maturity beyond his age. With that being said, he will be a good man when he grows up. I think so, at least.

          It's a long way to go though. For now he's excited about school again. With the preparation going, e.g. buying the things he needs for school, there will be more compromises, especially to his wardrobe. Lol.

          With limited shopping stores in the province, my sister scans online for the stuff he needs (hallelujah for the internet). No surprise that Sean looks at them as well and gets to choose which designs suit his preferences-and I tell you he has impeccable taste. By the way, since start of school is coming soon and if you don't have the time to physically do the shopping for your kids' apparel, there's a large collection of kids wear at ZALORA, and you can also check out their cute booties for toddlers (if you guys have toddlers... they too deserve to be dressed up). Sean loves going to departments stores, but he's equally delighted to receive packages. Well, with the online store delivering the purchase right on your door step, that can be considered a package. Right?

          He's not a spoiled kid. Though we tend to do so once in a while. Besides being responsible, he's awfully sweet; randomly patting our heads, kissing our temples and rubbing our backs just because he wants to do so. We-parents and siblings- could not and would not be able to fill the role of a father even if we try. But I hope he feels he is so well-loved and respected. We hope he will remember the things we are teaching him to be the better man he would become. Hopefully, better than the man who abandoned him.

Bangenge 101: The Walking Zombie

          Three nights ago I was so caught up with what I was writing; trying to organize my thoughts, searching for the perfect words to fit in my composition and checking my grammar all the time. Hopefully, I fluidly delivered my piece, grammar-wise. Lol. Apart from that, the topic meant so much to me in the sense that it was a part of a once broken soul and I, was trying to reach out to another broken soul that needs healing. So by writing it, I not only made use of my rational thoughts but also delved into my emotions. That kept me up almost all night, until three in the morning at least. Always an early riser whether I stayed up late or slept early, I woke up at six in the morning. Yes, joy. Lol.

          Then the next night trying to catch up on my sleep debt, I went to bed early at about 9:00 PM. Lo and behold, I woke up at past two in the morning! Instead of tossing and turning and fighting it, I just laid in bed with eyes closed and thoughts wandering. Surprise, surprise, my train of thoughts were about THIS, my blog-the topics I want to address, how it'll benefit others, how writing had played a major part of my existence while doing some calisthenics in the "career gym" as Sheryl Sandberg put it, and then it went to Steve Wozniak's quote (Steve Wozniak was co-founder of  Apple Inc. along with Steve Jobs). Somehow at that moment I kinda relate to him. Here's the quote from him(and if you want some more dose of inspirations, you can check it here):

          So two days in a row, I bombed myself with mug after mug of coffee. Two days in a row, I was how the Filipinos termed as "babaeng nawawala sa sarili". I was totally lost, functioning but like a puppet on a string. Lol. The second day was the worse.

          Later that day, I went to the mall to check our cable's subscription why it's not connecting. Normally, I stayed away, or rather knew how to navigate around, from "agents" of banks, insurance, etc. But I don't know, somehow people sense it when you're not with yourself? Because, I got myself ambushed and dragged to their table-one from insurance, one from the bank-and filled out some promo forms while being "sales talked", charmingly pointing at my old watch. Hoookaaay... been there, done that.

          Half an hour later, as I went to Dunkin Donuts to grab some muffins, a foreigner walked by and greeted me and all I did was stare dumbly. How articulately eloquent of me! Hahaha. I was supposed to be polite. Oh, well.

          Lack of sleep is detrimental to one's health, more so with the sanity. How I managed to walk on the streets and ride in the jeepneys without my knees buckling and being ran over still amazes me. Lol. But here's a funny thing. When I had lunch that day, I noticed I paused several times with my spoon suspended in mid-air. It seemed my mind shut down for few seconds! So I was sleep eating? Lack of sleep does not make me cranky though(yay, hallelujah). But it turns me into a laughing zombie.

          If you noticed when you didn't get enough sleep and you felt like you're "floating"? That's being bangenge. Bangenge is like sabog, or on high. Well, just in case you're wondering what the word means.

          

Bucket Shrimps... In Orchid Street

          That's the name of the restaurant I mentioned in my previous entry( Two Gentlemen And A Brother ) where our sweet brother treated us to dinner. The other family members, e.g. mother and other siblings, apparently had been there and I, was the first timer. Translate that into Bisaya, I'm the tagaw and translating that back into English, I'm... the... ignorant. So, there. Lol.

          Like another first timer, I took it all(ambiance, service, crowd) in without being too obvious(because my siblings, whom I put on the brave act for, have the tendency to do some merciless teasing whenever they have the chance-karma goes around, yes). The venue's jam-packed, suffice to say it's well known and frequented by locals(but I saw few Koreans last night as well). I can think of one reason why. Sea foods! But trust me, it's not the only thing that drew the crowd to the restaurant. It's unique in more ways than one. Someone really thought out of the box when he put up the restaurant!

          First off, when we were seated, someone came and spread manila paper on the table-that as a substitute for table cloth. Then he placed a sheet of parchment/wax paper in front of us. It served as the plate. Oh by the way, there was a pack of Hand Guard disposable gloves on the empty table we're about to occupy. With all those, you can guess the food was meant to be eaten with the hands. (FYI for non-Bisayan speakers who graciously read my blog, eating with the hands is termed kinamot or kamayan in Tagalog... kinamot has another meaning in Tagalog.)

          (Since I did not bring my camera and my phone is not the fancy one, you guys have to excuse me for the photographs. But I promise to go back there, one of these days, to update them.)

          You can eat the food with bare hands in case you're not comfortable using the disposable gloves since Bucket Shrimps has hand washing area. Anyway, this is what greeted us as we sat on our table:

          As soon as we were seated, another personnel came over(this time a really pretty lady) to take our order and she's wearing a black shirt as a uniform with this print on the front:

          What set Bucket Shrimps apart from other restaurants when it comes to menu list is this.

          Cool, right? Also, the metal bucket doubles as tissue holder.

          So we had Boiled Shrimps with Cajun sauce;

Photo by Google Image

          And Saucy Crab Eva;

Photo by Google Image

          And Wingz.

Photo by Google Image

          Among the three, the Wingz was to die for. But both the Boiled Shrimps in Cajun sauce and Wingz suited my palate that loves spicy food. They're garlicky and sweet and spicy, and the spiciness bit the tongue-which by the way, made my youngest brother sipped his soda after every bite. Lol. Crabs have distinct taste and the Saucy Crab Eva honestly, I was not much into. But you still have to try though to feel the bite.

          Another thing that made the meal not boring was this cutesy serving of rice.

Photo by Google Image

          So the table setting looked like this.

          If you're worried about getting your clothes dirty from the mess you might be making, you can ask for the paper bib.

Photo by Google Image

          It's an open air restaurant.

Photo by Google Image

Photo by Google Image

          It's filled with writings on the wall by satisfied customers.

          If you have a car, someone will valet for you for P50.

          The Bucket Shrimps we went to is located in Orchid Street Capitol Site. They also have a branch in Lahug and newly opened another one in Mactan across the Cebu Yacht Club. For more info about Bucket Shrimps, you can check their website  and Facebook page. 

          Orchid Street by the way is lined with other restaurants besides Bucket Shrimps. There you will find STK ta Bai!, Yayoy's Grill and Resto Bar, and Choobi Choobi Junior. In the next corner are more restaurants for you to choose from. When you're in Cebu, you will never go hungry. Just uhm... don't forget the monies.

Orchid Street

          So, after a sumptuous and fancy dinner, I'm down to Pancit Canton for lunch. Thanks heavens for instant food on a lazy weekend! Lol.

Two Gentlemen And A Brother

Photo by Google Image

          Sometimes it's not about you or me doing something good for someone. Sometimes it's about witnessing others doing a random act of kindness for someone else that can make our day-and I feel blessed to witness that and every second of it filled my heart with happiness.

          I look forward to Fridays and Sundays, well when I am here in Cebu. That's because I get to spend an hour with the Lord. Being in His place of worship always feels like home to me, always gives me this indescribable peace. It feels... divine. 

          Anyway, it's during Fridays and Sundays when the Basilica Minore del Sto. Niño is packed with people. Seats are not enough. With the mass going on every hour in these special days( Friday is the day for novena to Sr. Sto. Niño and Sunday, well, it's always a special day), it's the case of "first come, first serve" basis where the seat is concern. Today I was lucky to be able to sit.

          With the people flocking in and seats taken, some were fine being on their feet for the entire hour of the mass. And then something good happened Two men-who were in different directions but both were in my line of vision-stood up, not at the same time though, and approached the older women near them and offered their seats. The first act of kindness happened before the mass started and the second while the mass was going on. The ladies accepted the offer and the men graciously endured an entire hour standing. 

          Watching that happened, I was like, "Oh Lord, You never failed to make my day!" It was moving, fulfilling and beautiful. Bless their souls!

          And tonight, my brother treated me and my two other siblings to dinner! How sweet is that?! We went to Bucket Shrimp along Orchid Street (that's near Cebu Doctors University Hospital and Capitol Building). How unique the place is, I'll tell you in my next entry. For now, this girl is about to doze off. 

          Ciao, everyone. Hope you have a great night/morning wherever in the world you are.

         

30 Coffee Talks

Coffee is the best thing to douse the sunrise with. ~Terri Guillemets

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Coffee first. Schemes later. ~ Leanna Renee Hieber

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A morning without coffee is like sleep. ~ Author Unknown

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I just realized I’m not a morning person — I’m a coffee person. ~ Author Unknown

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Chocolate, men, coffee — some things are better rich. ~ Author Unknown

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Caffeine isn't a drug, it's a vitamin! ~ Author Unknown

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Be a coffee-drinking individual — espresso yourself! ~ Author Unknown

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Coffee is a hug in a mug. ~ Author Unknown

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I don't have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without caffeine! ~ Author Unknown

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Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. ~ Stephanie Piro

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I'd rather take coffee than compliments just now. ~ Louisa May Alcott

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Black as night, sweet as sin. ~ Neil Gaiman

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I don't really like coffee, she said, but I don't really like it when my head hits my desk when I fall asleep either. ~ Brian Andreas

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Adventure in life is good; consistency in coffee even better. ~ Justina Chen

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A yawn is a silent scream for coffee. ~ Author Unknown

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What goes best with a cup of coffee? Another cup. ~ Henry Rollins

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No matter what historians claimed, BC really stood for "Before Coffee. ~ Cherise Sinclair

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It doesn't matter where you're from - or how you feel... There's always peace in a strong cup of coffee. ~ Gabriel Bá

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The morning cup of coffee has an exhilaration about it which the cheering influence of the afternoon or evening cup of tea cannot be expected to reproduce. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

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I don't know where my ideas come from. I will admit, however, that one key ingredient is caffeine. I get a couple cups of coffee into me and weird things just start to happen. 

~ Gary Larson

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I believe humans get a lot done, not because we're smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee. ~ Flash Rosenberg

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Everybody should believe in something. I believe I'll have another coffee. ~Author Unknown

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Coffee makes me invincible. But when the cup is empty, I return to mere mortal.

~Terri Guillemets

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It's amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee! 

~Donna A. Favors

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I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. ~T.S. Eliot

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Do I like my coffee black? There are other colors? ~Author Unknown

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Given enough coffee, I could rule the world. ~Author Unknown

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Actually, this seems to be the basic need of the human heart in nearly every great crisis — a good hot cup of coffee. ~Alexander King

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As a rule, I do not approve of messing around with coffee. No sugar, no milk, no chocolate, hazelnuts, cinnamon, no nothing.... Just drink it black, the way God does. ~ Clay Thompson

10 Ways To Psyche Up Your Day

       

Photo by Google Image

          You alone have the power to make or break your day. Sure there are outside forces beyond your control but they will only affect you if you let them. There are some people that could get on your nerves but how they affect you depends on your reaction to them. It's important to start your day with a healthy state of mind. Here are ten ways to fire up your day and hopefully, they will help prevent you from being stressed out:

1. Be thankful you wake up.
           As soon as you open your eyes, say thanks.  If you believe in the Higher Being like I do, give thanks to the Lord for another day in your life. Everyday is a gift. Each day is a chance to do things better than you did yesterday, another day to be a better being and another day to work on your dreams.

2. Pray and surrender your day to God.
          In the movie Definitely Maybe, Will Hayes was walking in the streets of New York on his way to fetch his daughter Maya. While walking, he was searching through his selections of songs, played Everyday People by Sly and the Family Stone and said, "It's a great feeling when you find the right track to go with the day.." and said again at the end of the song, "... but sometimes no matter how carefully you planned your play list, there is no right track for what awaits you."
          Life is a battlefield. Prayer is a weapon. Prayer is a shield. Praying is surrendering. You do not know what awaits you for the entire twenty-four hours you breath. So trust your life to the Highest Power, knowing you will be taken cared of. Knowing that you are leaning on The Rock propels you to live the day the best that you can with no worries. Here are few verses from the Bible that assure God will be with you: "I am with you and will keep you wherever you go" (Gen. 28:15), and "I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Heb. 13:5).

3. Watch the sunrise.
          This is one of the most wonderful sights to set your eyes on early in the morning. Feast your eyes on the marvel as the sun's rays slowly crawl their way to earth, beautifully transforming the night sky and filling it with light. Inhale with it, fill your heart with the peace of the morning.

3. Sip your morning coffee or tea as you delight in the nature's morning wonder.
          Always, always it keeps you company when you are on your own basking in the morning peace while watching the sun rises. The smell of coffee alone can wake you up. Get lost in the moment. Delight your taste buds with the coffee or tea while feast your sight on the beauty that unfolds before you. Pure bliss!

4. Feel blessed for the people you love and care about in your life.
          For the most part, they are the reason for our living-parents, spouses, boyfriends/girlfriends, children, good friends. Show them love by giving them hugs, kiss them as you wake them up, cook them breakfast. Be affectionate.

5. Play some music to pump you up.
          Sort through your play list, turn on the volume and dance to the beat while going through your morning rituals. If you think you have two left feet, no problem at all. Trust me, with good and lively music, your body has the tendency to betray you. You will find yourself swaying or your feet tapping or your head moving from side to side along with the beat.
          I suggest that you choose songs with light, vibrant and dynamic feel. When you leave the house for work, it will stay with you. Your LSS(Last Song Syndrome) will help you get through the day. Workload may not be heavy, stressful and demanding, but sometimes boredom can get the best of you. When the stress or boredom bug seeps in, you can choose a song in your head. Sing it out loud or hum it or move your body with it and do not care who sees and hears you. When you're having fun and feeling good, other's opinion ceases to matter. Take notice of  how your steps get lighter and you can't keep the grin off your face. Time flies at work without you noticing it.

6. Exercise
          Sure you can do this while you're music is playing. It's been noted in scientific research that exercising releases endorphins, a chemical in the brain that fights stress and is associated with a feeling of euphoria. However, you have to listen to your body when do you feel most alive or lethargic after you exercise. If you feel alive after exercising, don't do it at night before going to bed or you will have to fight sleeplessness. Do it in the morning before going to work. If the effect is opposite and makes you feel tired, then do it at night to help you rest well.

7. Feed and nourish your soul.
          May it be from books, magazines, videos, songs, other people's advices or the Bible. It could be anything that reiterates the goodness of life and yes, the greatness of God. Not only that it makes you feel good inside, but it teaches that there are things bigger than yourselves, and it makes you see the world in better perspectives and understands people the way they want to be understood.

7. Be inspired.
          Think of someone you look up to, someone you want to emulate for some reason. Think of the people you love. Think of your dreams-travel the world, have your own business, own a house and lot, etc.-and think that your everyday struggle is a step closer to reaching them. Or, think of the next splurge you are saving your money for. It's not a cheap suggestion, but you deserve and have the right to spend your earning. Think of it as a reward to yourself for working hard.

8. Be random. Be silly. Hold on to some funny thoughts.
          Lighten up. Chill out. Prank someone. Laugh as much as you can. Find something amusing. Surround yourself with friends, acquaintances or colleagues who know how to laugh and can make you laugh. If you're alone and you need something to make you smile, pull out some inspirations from your memory, the ones you remember to be the happiest and made you felt alive and carefree.

9. Do something good everyday.
          It does not matter how small or big the gesture is, it's the thought that counts. Open the door for someone, offer your seat to the ladies, offer to make a cup of coffee for the office mate or throw your garbage properly... the list could go on. Doing those little things can make a difference to your day. If you're familiar with the adage "It's better to give than to receive", doing something for someone sounds like that. You reap a thousand fold of reward called happiness as a doer than being the recipient of the deeds.

10. Learn to fake it until you make it.
          On some days you don't feel great and everything seems to not work in your favor, fake it. Force your self to smile. Pretend you feel confident. Even if you're seething inside or you feel dead for some reason, tell yourself "Everything's great. Everything's going to be great." It helps to maintain a positively healthy attitude even if you don't feel it. Like the photo said above, change your thought and it'll change your world. :)

       

Pain Is Meant To Happen For Better Reasons

          With inspirations from the people-parents, siblings, best friends and the like-that surrounded us as we grew up, we molded the perfect person we want to be with in our minds. The one that could and would equally love and adore us as they did. The one that would not hurt or make us cry. The one we could and would give our heart to willingly. But then we grew older. We realized we created illusions and perfect was just a word. We got knocked with sense of reality that we loved through rose tinted glasses and deceptive ideas and that even people who professed to love us could equally break us. Pain was inevitable.

  Pain was consuming. It gnawed and clawed every fiber of our being. It was there in every thought, squeezing cells in our brain for answers on why and how things happened, slowly failing our reason. It was a deafening sound that repeatedly slammed our rib cage, crushing the life of heart's every beat. It became the blood that flowed in our veins and defined the life we never wanted and roused the urge to hurt as we were hurt. It was addicting, easier to succumb to, though we tried to fight it.

  We latched onto something-numbness or anger and held onto it-that made sense to what was going on inside of us; a swirling vortex of every emotion possible mixed with nothingness. They became the blood that flowed in our veins, the heart of our being, and it was everything that mattered. They became our cloak and shield to protect ourselves from falling in love and to prevent people from closing in. We felt good walking around and going through the motion of living “protected”. Scarred, tired, and hurt, we threw in the towel and said, “Never again”. Never again to dating. No more to men or women who would and could stir our lives. But, amidst the tears, while wading through the bitterness from a heartbreak, we asked if there is someone out there for us.

  Living with pain, bitterness, anger, or numbness, could be tiresome. It could get lonely in there, going through the daily grind without enthusiasm-frozen. That awareness became a “wake up” call. It was like being snapped back from an extended stupor, and the first thing that came to mind was, “That was not me”. But everything that was had been a part of who we become. Whether we like it or not being broken was meant to happen, a bittersweet experience paid handsomely for a lifetime.

  A blessing in disguise-if we really think about it. We felt proud of learning and surviving. The newfound insight we wore like a king’s crown and walked with it taller, wiser and better. The strength that possessed us after the ordeal became our armor. We felt invincible and fearless. What could possibly hurt us more?

  We began to examine ourselves and to know us from within. All that we went through had become a “guidebook” of what shall be. The thing was, despite being broken, our ideals never changed because we were familiar with them and knew them to be something good and beautiful-only we got entangled with the wrong person at the right time or right person at the wrong time or it's just awfully wrong in all sense. That “something good and beautiful” we wanted to happen to ourselves, in our lives. It was that longing for “something good and beautiful” that pushed us to keep going and to keep trying and to keep looking and to keep waiting.

  We learnt that we felt let down because our expectations were never met. But with the new “us” we modified them to some extent, relative to what we learnt. We could not eradicate our expectations totally, but we tried to meet and be met halfway. With acquired wisdom, self-respect, and regard to our higher ideals, we considered dating again. But this time around, it became more of connecting with somebody who shared our principles, rather than bending ours to fit theirs. It became more of satisfying ourselves, thus, not settling for anything less. It's about loving ourselves more.

  But you know what's the most important thing that happened from experiencing the pain of loss and broken heart? It taught us to be better humans; more emphatic, more sensitive, more forgiving. Not only our "rebirth" resulted to a tougher and better version of us, but with it came compassion for others. The understanding of how pain could break a person gave us the license to help spare as many souls as we could from falling into the same abyss of darkness we had been to. We want to lift people to be a better version of themselves and us. We then realized we have a lot of love to give than we ever did before. And that to me is "something good and beautiful".

40 Quotes To Live By From Lean In

Lean In

Women, Work, And The Will To Lead

Sheryl Sandberg, Chief Operating Officer of Facebook, is one of the  career women that inspires me. She managed to wedge through the cutthroat tech environment dominated by males and made her mark. How she managed to balance her career and family life, she poured out in this book. Besides that, she's advocating for gender equality, active role of men at home, and betterment of women's lives around the world.

If you read the book, and I hope you will, you will find more important points being discussed. For now, here are my forty's:

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Fear is the root of so many of the barriers that women face. Fear of not being liked. Fear of making the wrong choice. Fear of drawing negative attention. Fear of overreaching. Fear of being judged. Fear of failure. And the holy trinity of fear: the fear of being a bad mother/wife/daughter.

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Lack of confidence can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

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There is no perfect fit when you're looking for the next big thing to do. You have to take opportunities and make an opportunity fit for you, rather than the other way around. The ability to learn is the most important quality a leader can have.

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When a man is successful, he is liked by both men and women. When a woman is successful, people of both genders like her less.

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The desire to be liked by everyone would hold you back. When you want to change things, you can't please everyone. If you do please everyone, you aren't making progress.

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If you're offered a seat on a rocket ship, you don't ask what seat. You just get on.

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The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any.

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The strongest relationships spring out of a real and often earned connection felt by both sides.

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The ability to listen is as important as the ability to speak.

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Being aware of a problem is the first step to correcting it.

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The upside of painful knowledge is so much greater than the downside of blissful ignorance.

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Being open to hearing the truth means taking responsibility for mistakes.

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Miscommunication is always a two-way street.

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Humor can be an amazing tool for delivering an honest message in a good-natured way.

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Sharing emotions builds deeper relationships. Motivation comes from working on things we care about. It also comes from working with people we care about. To really care about others, we have to understand them-what they like and dislike, what they feel as well as think. Emotion drives both men and women and influences every decision we make. Recognizing the role emotions play and being willing to discuss them make us better managers, partners, and peers.

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Seek and speak your truth.

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Rarely is there one absolute truth, so people who believe that they speak the truth are very silencing of others.

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When looking for a life partner, my advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated, and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier.

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Even after finding the right guy-or gal-no one comes fully formed. Be careful about role definition in the beginning of a relationship. If a relationship begins in an unequal place, it is likely to get more unbalanced when and if children are added to the equation. Use the beginning of a relationship to establish the division of labor. If you want a fifty-fifty partnership, establish that pattern at the outset.

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A more equal division of labor between parents will model better behavior for the next generation.

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It is always worth the battle to change undesirable dynamic.

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Wonderful, sensitive men of all ages are out there. And the more women value kindness and support in their boyfriends, the more men will demonstrate it.

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The antiquated rhetoric of 'having it all' disregards the basis of every economic relationship: the idea of trade-offs. All of us are dealing with the constrained optimization that is life, attempting to maximize our utility based on parameters like careers, kids, relationships, etc., doing our best to allocate the resource of time. Due to the scarcity of this resource, therefore, none of us can 'have it all', and those who claim to are most likely lying.

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Women should learn from Icarus to aim for the sky, but keep in mind that we all have real limits.

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Trying to do it all and expecting that it all can be done exactly right is a recipe for disappointment. Perfection is the enemy.

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Done is better than perfect.

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Aiming for perfection causes frustration at best  and paralysis at worst.

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Setting obtainable goals is key to happiness. Instead of perfection, we should aim for sustainable and fulfilling.

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If I have to embrace the definition of success, it would be that success is making the best choices we can... and accepting them.

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Whoever has power takes over the noun-and the norm- while the less powerful get an adjective.

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Talking can transform minds, which can transform behaviors, which can transform institutions.

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Shutting down discussion is self-defeating and impedes progress. We need to talk and listen and debate and refute and instruct and learn and evolve.

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Don't be afraid to ask. 

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We cannot change what we are unaware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change.

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Leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence and making sure that impact lasts in your absence.

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Equal opportunity is not equal unless everyone receives the encouragement that makes seizing those opportunities possible.

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There's a special place in hell for women who don't help 

other women.

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The more women help one another, the more we help ourselves.

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Gender neither should magnify nor excuse rude and dismissive treatment. We should expect professional behavior, and even kindness, from everyone.

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One of the conflicts inherent in having choice is that we all make different ones. There is always an opportunity cost, and I don't know any woman who feels comfortable with all her decisions. As a result, we inadvertently hold that discomfort against those who remind us of the path not taken. Guilt and insecurity make us second-guess ourselves and, in turn, resent one another.